|Back in our day . . .||
As I held one of my twin sons the morning after they were born, I had only hopes and happiness for my young son. I looked at his eye lashes and the beautiful green eyes looked back at me. Such sweet innocence. I uncovered the tiny feet and counted toes, ecstatic that he was in possession of all his fingers, toes, and everything else. His heart had started to slow down because he was being born in the breech position as was his brother. They had to rush us in to the delivery room and get him out before anything else could happen to him. As you hold your first child, you are in love with the beauty and sweetness laying beside you in your arms. You never know what the future holds...but one thing I know, it is never what you expected!
As children, my sons were adventurous and funny. One time, in their walkers, they disappeared into the bedroom chattering away in a language only they knew, and we were sitting down to dinner. It was very quiet and Jack started to go find them. I told him to not look a gift horse in the mouth and eat his dinner while he could! He did. Then he called for the boys...still quiet... They appeared a few seconds later and they were looking like Zebras! They were striped in black and to our amazement upon following up on what they had been doing, we found the old typewriter sitting in the floor in front of our closet with the ribbon pulled out and twisted up where they had wrapped it around themselves and were playing with it! Jack was going to radio school at the time and he had to leave for his class! He was laughing as he left, and I told him I wasn't going to let him back in if he left me to clean them both up!!! Ha Ha I had to strip them down and bathe both of them because they were turning red where their skin was exposed to the ink in the ribbon! Once I got them clean, and lotioned down with baby lotion, they returned to their normal color thank God! They were always into something and they kept us so busy. When they were 7 months old, I found I was pregnant again, and this time we had a beautiful little baby girl.
Our baby girl was so sweet and calm. She didn't cry a lot, unlike her noisy brothers, and she was content to just be held close and loved. She'd lay quietly in her crib when I'd be cleaning up the house, and she was so sweet and delicate. She was a healthy baby, and we have a picture somewhere of her brothers hugging her from each side... she was completely blind with their arms in front of her face!
Life was hectic to say the least. After the 3 months I got to spend with them, I had to go back to work, and then the fun really started! We had to get them dressed in the morning besides getting ourselves decent and get them into their car seats and feed them as we were rushing around trying to get other things done. I had to make sure the oatmeal was out of my hair, and I had my glasses on, and my pant's zipped...Jack always seemed to have it together. Where he got the calm to do that, would be something I discovered much later in our relationship. I learned from him, something so fantastic, that it doesn't even come close to being described. But I digress. Once the kids were dressed and fed, and we had our lunches made and ready to go, we took them to their sitter and were off to the races once more. At night, we'd pick them up, take us all home, and put our TV dinners in the over while we fed them and got them cleaned up and ready for bath time or pajama time. Our lives were hectic as I stated before...but it was fun too!
I loved every minute of it! It was taxing, tiring, but rewarding too when they would lay their little head's down under your chin and cuddle. So very precious. We had no idea of the turmoil we'd run into later. It is never expected. Never planned for. Alex turned out to have asthma and we had to move to a drier and warmer climate so we moved out to Spring Valley. We found a nice little apartment and moved us in. Alex seemed to get better and still had a cough, but not the difficulties he had had at the old place. Brian was fine, no ill effects from their difficult birth, and Sidra was still our sweet and happy little girl. They were rough, the boys were that is, and Sidra would crawl around after them but they were too fast for her. When she started learning to walk, she'd stand up teetering on her little wobbly legs, and they'd rush past her playing and down she'd go. It was so cute Jack made a cartoon of it. She loved her brothers, but they were bigger and not inclined to play with girls. When she was smaller, they liked to brush her hair and they'd always tell me when she was awake if I didn't hear her. They'd come and bring a bottle and tell me "Baby hungry mommy...baby hungry!" But as they grew, she was left behind in a cloud of dust. Our sweet little girl was the apple of her daddy's eye and she always wanted him to hold her if she was sick. She'd lay on his tummy on the floor while he was watching TV and they grew so close. She was in love with Daddy and it was so sweet to observe. I loved them all so very much.
As we moved from place to place, we eventually found a house in what we thought was a good neighborhood. It was a quiet little place with lots of children for them to play with. They grew quickly the first summer we moved into the house. They changed 3 sizes as a matter of fact. But as they grew, the neighborhood got tougher and meaner. There were gangs and all sorts of things that we never expected. Our precious babies, were babies no more and they were drastically influenced by the people around us. We should have moved. I don't know why we didn't. We eventually had to send one of our sons to Arizona to live with my sister because he was being targeted by some roughians who wanted to shoot him! I was still working and could not be at home with them. They were delivered to the sitters until they were 12 and entering middleschool. Then we had decided they were old enough to be alone after school and we got home about an hour or hour and a half after they were home. Sidra was 10 and she was ok too with being alone until we got home. So different from the little innocent babies we took home with us from the hospital. We loved our children very much and we had to be strict with them. But the damage that was done in their formative years was devastating. So different from the things I had dreamed of. You never know what lies ahead...the future is promised to no one.
But before that came about, we tried to teach them about life and the things that would make them strong. I think that when it came down to it, somewhere in the realms of their soul's, they knew that what they were into was not right. We had to employ "tough-love" to get their attention. How did it all go wrong?... I think we could have avoided a lot of it by moving to a different area. I at least take some partial credit for the things they got into. I had my own personal problems and life to sort out as well, but I never stopped loving them or being concerned for their well-being. Our one son did well in my Sisters care. But her husband and he did not get along after a while and he had to come back home.
I had to keep working, and the toll it took on me was a big one. The stress at work and home was enough for me...I couldn't handle much more. Then one day at work, I was asked to carry a computer up 2 flights of stairs, and they weren't little computers at the time. I began having neck pain and a tightness in my chest and an excruciating pain in my back. It took 3 days to finally get the help I needed as the pain would come and go and come back again. The third day, my son Alex called 911 and they took me to emergency where they discovered it was indeed a heart attack. They put me in the ICU and gave me meds to dissolve the blood clot. That led to an angiogram where they discovered 7 blockages in my heart and one of them had covered 70% of the room In my artery for the blood to pass through and that's where the blood clot got stuck. I was put on heart medications, high blood pressure med's, and aspirin and a non-fat, low-Cholesterol diet. I survived all that and the strength I got to face it all and overcome it, was the love my family had for me. I think the heart attack changed my life and theirs as well. It was a sobering experience for them to go through.
But today, things are different still! The boys grew out of their life-style, began being serious about doing something with their lives, met girls, got married and have given us 7 grandchildren. They are both good Dad's and their kids love them. I was able to retire and stay at home at the age of 48, and Jack has kept working until he got so sick earlier this year. He recovered thank God, and has since returned to work. But by all rights he should be home where he could write his books and enjoy life. He is the toughest person I know. He has been my saving grace after all these years. We have been together 39 years this coming Christmas Eve. I have learned to value many things, and I have gotten past so many devastating times in my life...but my family has been there all the way. That's why I am still here. Their love, and all the other experiences have made us stronger than we ever thought possible and I am thankful and happy to say that things have changed a lot and life has become rewarding for us. You never know what the future holds. Be prepared, that in your wildest dreams, the things that can happen are not in your control. Life is difficult for all of us...but the things we learn are what make us who we are...strong or weak...the choice is ours. Our wonderful daughter is with us, and takes care of me and her Dad now. She handles the finances, and does the things we cannot do any more. We love all our kids, and in the end, that's what matters. That's what holds us together. The Tyler Gang........
This is for the grandkids, the family, close friends, and anyone else who can keep a civil tongue in their heads! It amounts to an interactive book of memoirs, but only if you interact... so get to it!
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California has been my home since 1965. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I'm home to stay!
What is there to say about a ten-year old turning 65, besides, what the hell happened?!??